Home Improvement Tips

How to Help Your Child When Your Family Has to Move

Posted on 09. Jul, 2010 by in Parenting

Sometimes, as adults, we need to make difficult decisions; one of those is deciding it is time to move. No matter what the reason for moving, whether good – to be closer to family or earn more money – or bad – you’ve foreclosed on your home or you’re divorcing – pulling up roots and living in a strange new place can be a difficult thing for children to adjust to.

There are a few simple things you can do, however, to help make the move a much easier and enjoyable one for your kids. If you are moving soon, think about doing some or all of the following:

1. If you haven’t already chosen your new home, sit down with the kids and brainstorm some things you’d like your new home to have that your current house doesn’t – a bigger backyard, a fence, a quiet neighborhood – whatever your family comes up with, write it down; take this list with you and house hunt together. Ask for your children’s input. Though they do need to be told that theirs won’t be the final decision, it will ease the transition if they feel involved in the process.
2. Make a memory box and/or book as a keepsake of your current home. Have your child take pictures and collect some pebbles, leaves, whatever he likes that will remind him of his home. Put everything together and allow your child to carry this with her in the car and keep in her new bedroom.
3. Take a day to say a special goodbye to your home (and city if you’ll be moving out of town). Arrange to visit with special friends, neighbors, babysitters, and relatives you may not see for a while. When you’re on your way to your new home, talk about the memories you have of times spent with each of the people you were able to get together with. End the day with a special meal; talk about specific memories you each have of the house – maybe birthdays, holidays, or other celebrations – to give closure to leaving behind a house in which a lot of life has taken place.
4. When you arrive in your new home, allow your child to have a great deal of say in how his room is set up – where his things will go, what color he’d like his walls to be, etc. Involve her in putting things into their new places (as much as he or she is able depending on his or her age) such as towels, dishes, throw pillows, the kitty litter box, food bowls, etc. Putting food into the cupboards or pantry of a new home can give a child the feeling of being a part of the move as well as giving him the sense that this is where “home” is now. Any domestic type of chore will help make those connective feelings for your child.
5. As soon as possible, take your child on a short tour of her new town. Show her the school she will be attending, where she’ll be taking lessons, the park, the church you’ll be attending, where she’s allowed to ride her bike, etc. Even if she’s older, she may feel more comfortable if you stay outside nearby while she tries to make some friends in the neighborhood. Younger children should, of course, be introduced by you to the neighboring children. The more quickly you find youngsters for your child to play with, the more comfortable she will be.
6. Don’t forget to let your child talk about your old house and how much he misses it and his friends. Don’t dismiss his feelings by telling him he’ll make new friends. New friends can’t replace old ones, after all! Simply listen to him, tell him you understand, and that you know how hard moving can be. Sharing with him your experiences and feelings can help him understand that what he is feeling is normal and isn’t something of which he need be ashamed.

Moving can be a wonderful opportunity, but often involves getting over some bumps before the enjoyment can begin. Be patient and understanding; it may take some time, but, not to worry, your child will eventually adjust.

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